Change can invoke a lump in the throat, complete drudgery, or thrilling excitement; depending on how we feel: afraid, forced, or inspired.
Even if we are in total and absolute bliss, there will come a moment of discomfort, like reclining on the ultimate lounge for a while too long, and we will feel the need to change or shift our position. Even monks can only sit still indefinitely!
We have a huge resistance to change – but we can’t stop it. Our world, our friends, our circumstance, and our bodies are all subject to inevitable change.
Accepting change is the initial step to coping with it well. Then you can develop a gentle equilibrium for your life. Be strong and humble, brave and gentle, willing and accepting.
Change for the better is usually greeted with celebration, joy and enthusiasm. High times should be happy times. Add a dash of humility for a more balanced approach, because as we have seen, everything changes.
Change for the worse is usually resisted, denied, feared. Low times can completely knock our socks off. It may be helpful to remember that how we feel in the throes of painful change is impermanent ‘this too shall pass’. This is the time to look for windows of hope and the birth of new opportunities.
Come out from hiding under the bed and seek to be empowered. Indecision and avoidance are byproducts of grief; you’ll do best to continue to deal with day-to-day practicalities. This helps you reach a new state of normalcy and prevents other areas of your life from getting into trouble. If you can stay in the driver’s seat during crisis, you will move through the process in a healthy and self-sufficient manner. This doesn’t mean you can’t honor your feelings, grief, and pain; your emotions are real and need to be gently embraced to move through the transition in a healthy and healing way.
No one but you can know what it feels like to go through this very personal experience. Time is the ultimate healer; the pain of the moment is less a day, a week, a month, a year later, but it may never go away completely. Be patient and gentle with your heart. Give yourself the time to grieve the change as well as finding ways up and out of it. Pretending to be strong or stuffing your feelings instead of acknowledging the pain that accompanies change, may back-fire at a later date.
Change has its own barometer with each of us. In words, I can never express how personal it is. Your changes should never be made to feel insignificant at any level. Many times change is an opportunity for renewal and gives birth to new purpose, direction and meaning. You may leave our old life behind, and create something new, beautiful and better; ultimately more aligned with your life path. When the caterpillar dies, his whole body transforms into a gooey mess of new potential – completely unseen. I don’t know how he feels at the time, but it looks awful. From this mucky mess, cells rebuild themselves into the beautiful form of the butterfly. It looks impossible, but it happens. When your life is changed, and it looks impossible, trust that if the caterpillar can do it, then you can too.
Bless your heart.
Live in joy,